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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28962723">Young Men Who Once Were Whole</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/fortescuestreacletart/pseuds/fortescuestreacletart'>fortescuestreacletart</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Cliche, F/M, Harry Potter Epilogue Compliant, Post-Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Pre-Epilogue</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:41:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,494</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28962723</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/fortescuestreacletart/pseuds/fortescuestreacletart</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius was right; dying didn't hurt, but that didn't mean it didn't cause pain. Harry's death hurt Ginny most of all.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Young Men Who Once Were Whole</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I wrote this as a break from my other project. Its overly dramatic and I am not sure I think that Ginny would have responded like this but I struggle with epilogue Harry. As a reader, I needed to deal with the fallout of Harry's sacrifice and Dumbledore's betrayal a little more. I also have always wanted more to Harry/Ginny. I don't think they are a bad paring, I just wish JK had spent more time on them than one book/chapter. This is the product of those two desires. Hope you like it!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Young Men Who Once Were Whole</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"For love and death go together."--Aleksandr Kachetkov</em>
</p>
<p>Harry watched as she came down the steps into the Gryffindor Common Room. Her eyes were bloodshot and her face ashen but with her long red hair dancing behind her she was still beautiful. She came to a stop in front of him, ignoring her parents, her brothers, and Hermione. She was looking at him, just Harry.</p>
<p>“Hi,” Harry blurted, unable to meet her eyes.</p>
<p>“Hi” Ginny hissed. “After nine months of nothing. Nine months of fear, and stupid adventures with my brother while I was stuck in this fucking prison. You say ‘hi’?” She took a breath and when she spoke again her voice was louder still not shouting but carrying he was sure. “And last night all you can say to me is ‘no Ginny, stay safe Ginny, don’t fight Ginny—’” she broke off sounding slightly hysterical.</p>
<p>Harry found himself reaching for her as she turned into herself and stifled what he was sure was a sob. Ginny pushed his hand away roughly. “No, Harry. Don’t fucking touch me.”</p>
<p>Pulling his hand back, as though burned, Harry said in a hoarse whisper, “Gin, I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>Ginny grabbed his chin and forced his eyes to meet hers. He saw a blazing fury in their dark brown depths. “Sorry,” she spat. “You don’t get to say sorry, Harry. Not after last night. Not after Fred. Not after you went into that forest and didn’t even say goodbye,” her voice broke on the last word and she seemed to sag towards him before she took an abrupt step back and released his chin.</p>
<p>“I couldn’t—“ he tried to say before Ginny let out a slightly hysterical laugh.</p>
<p>“Couldn’t? Oh Harry, don’t make me laugh.” Ginny broke in. “You don’t think I heard you out on the grounds last night? Don’t you think I could tell you were under that cloak? Don’t you think I’ve seen you disappear underneath it enough? Don’t think we used it enough?” Ginny was moving even closer to him punctuating each question with a sharp jap in his chest, directly over the spot where his new scar rested.</p>
<p>Harry opened his mouth to say something but before he could find the words, Ginny continued. “What would it have taken? Two minutes to say goodbye?”</p>
<p>“You managed it well enough a year ago.” Ginny continued in a harsh parody of his own voice. “’It’s been like something out of someone else’s life, these last few weeks--” Ginny suddenly broke off and the fight seemed to drain from her body. Her face seemed to crumple. And this was worse. Harry knew this was infinitely worse than her anger, when she continued it was in a small sad voice, “Didn’t I deserve a goodbye?”</p>
<p>Harry was sure all eyes were on them now. He wished that they could be having this conversation anywhere but here, in front of her family. But he couldn’t let her walk away from him. Not now. He reached a hand up and rubbed his scar. When he spoke his voice was bitter and quiet, “I couldn’t say goodbye.” Harry spat the last word.</p>
<p>He heard a few rumbles from the Weasley brothers and Ginny puffed herself up, ready to start berating him again. Harry raised his hand and continued “No, Ginny. You’ve had your chance. It’s my turn now. I couldn’t say goodbye to you.”</p>
<p>A cold little smile played across his face and he said, “I’m a selfish man, Ginny.”</p>
<p>She took a step back and looked confused. Harry spared a glance at the Weasleys and Hermione, noticing absently that Seamus and Neville stood near them all clearly paying rapt attention to the scene he and Ginny were making. Let them hear, he thought savagely. What did he care? “I had just found out that I had to die, Ginny. I didn’t go into that forest to be <em>noble</em>.” He gave a bitter little laugh on the last word.</p>
<p>“I had just discovered that the man I trusted above all others had raised me like a pig to the slaughter. That Voldemort, the clever bastard, had made the one man who had the power to kill him part of what kept him alive—“</p>
<p>Harry heard a sharp intake of breath and somewhere to his right Hermione said, “Harry no—You can’t be saying…”</p>
<p>“Honestly, Hermione,” Harry answering his oldest friend not taking his eyes off of Ginny. “I’d of thought you would have figured it out by now.” Harry roughly pulled his hand through his hair and continued his voice sounding strange to his own ears. “Dear old Tom left a piece of himself that Halloween night in the only other living thing.  Fucking genius, if you ask me. But when have I ever been asked?”</p>
<p>Harry couldn’t help himself; he glanced at Hermione and Ron. Hermione was crying. Ron looked like he had just taken a punch to the gut; he made a jerking movement with his head, strangely reminiscent of the move he had made that day, so many lifetimes ago, when Harry had first kissed Ginny.</p>
<p>Harry returned his focus to the woman standing in front of him and spoke “So you see, Ginny. I couldn’t have ever said goodbye to you.”</p>
<p>“Two minutes you said? Yeah, I could have spared that time. But you would have looked at me.  You wouldn’t have thought that I was a waste of space. Not the Boy Who Lived or the Chosen One, just me. Just Harry. And I would have stayed.” He sighed.</p>
<p>“Ginny,” even he could hear the pleading note in his voice now. “Two minutes would have turned into an hour, into a day, into a month, into a year. And it wouldn’t have mattered how many people he was slaughtering. Wouldn’t have mattered if he did it all in my name. Because I would have had you.”</p>
<p>Ginny opened her mouth as if to argue. As if to point out that Harry was a better man than that. “No, Ginny. Let me finish.” Harry cut in. “You deserve to know this. You deserve to know everything.”</p>
<p>Harry closed his eyes. He couldn’t bear to see her face as he continued. “Did I ever tell you that Snape was the reason my parents died? He was the one that told Voldemort that there was a prophesy about a boy who could defeat him. He didn’t know who the boy was at the time.” Harry opened his eyes and spared a rye smile to where Hermione and Ron stood. “But then he found out who it could be.”</p>
<p>“The funny thing is, it turns out, Snape loved my mum. I was never curious why my muggleborn mother was able to sacrifice herself for me. Why Voldemort told her to step aside. Snape was right, I guess. I was too arrogant to notice. But I should have been curious.” Harry sighed and glanced up at Ginny. She looked confused but interested despite herself.  </p>
<p>“You can put the pieces together before I did, I’m sure…” Harry trailed off unsure how to best explain the desperate need that Snape must have felt.</p>
<p> His eyes returned to Ginny’s face and he found himself galvanized to continue. “Snape asked Voldemort not to kill her, you see. Said he wanted her. Snape also told Dumbledore to keep my mother safe. He offered to spy for the order in exchange. Snape was willing to let Voldemort massacre Neville’s entire family, to kill me and my father, just so long as Lily Evans lived.”</p>
<p>Harry took a breath. “I want to say I don’t understand that desire, Ginny. But I do. I would have jumped in front of any curse for you. I would have fed countless muggleborns to the Death Eaters if that guaranteed you could live a happy and healthy life. But none of those bargains would have worked. So I did the one thing I could. I died.”</p>
<p>Harry took a deep breathe before finishing. “Turns out, I wasn’t very good at that. Trust me not for lack of effort.” Done, Harry examined Ginny’s face and found her features marred with an inscrutable mix of pain, fear, and something Harry couldn’t name. Unable to watch her any longer, Harry made a miserable gesture with his hand and turned and walked brusquely towards the exit. Harry supposed that he probably wouldn’t see Ginny again, so before he stepped out he turned his head and glanced at her. Ginny was standing where he had left her surrounded by her family. She was looking at him wearing a familiar blazing look. He would remember her like this. Harry couldn’t bring back Fred, Lupin, Tonks and all the other hundreds of people who died. Harry couldn’t make her hurt go away. He couldn’t be a better man, a whole one. So, Harry did the one thing he could, he left.</p>
<p>
  <em>fin </em>
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